restoring humanity

i cannot begin to explain how proud i am of our students this Christmas season. not only were they able to raise thousands of dollars to help families in need, they were able to give more than gifts...they gave many people hope. i thank you on behalf of the families i am blessed to work with on a daily basis. you can change lives...you have already done it!

congratulations theodore!

congratulations to my best friend for getting a new job...congratulations to me for calling about insurance...congratulations to us that we're still friends. and remember to help someone today and if you need help, ask for it...there is beauty in that...

consciousness

i didn't die coming home tonight
my sister was stupid enough to say a racial slur today
there are no magic coats in the world...only those who are stupid enough to pay $200 dollars and those more stupid to buy them
school will not be closed tomorrow
we have 4 coats left
i still have hope for jim and pam
O.R. loves hot cheetos...they all do
where did all the good people go?
early release is for hustlers
i think about it all the time

new page

although it has been a while since i have written here, i feel that i have learned more about the people i know and myself than any other time. and even though i at times miss the comfortable office and the idealist attitude that i have all the answers because i work in ministry i am so grateful that God has changed my mindset. maybe designing shirts and brochures and booking bands aren't where its at...cool as it may be and as much as i would like it to change my identity and make me more "spiritual", it would never be the right focus. working in this new place as an advocate for these kids has opened my eyes to what i have been missing. i met a girl today who just wanted more to eat. i know that she would not get a hot meal for dinner...i know she won't have clean clothes to wear to school tomorrow and i know that if she set foot in a church the other girls would ask her why she looked like that. and it breaks my heart that i can't fix the entire situation. i can only help her by meeting her needs one at a time. and so while i think that at times we need to spiritually energized, i have to wonder if we are really doing the right work if we don't see what is before us. the fact is that people are going hungry within 5 miles of where we all live, children have to parent themselves, and where does it all end? i'm glad that i don't have a comfortable chair to sit in anymore...i don't even have a desk chair or a desk for that matter. go where the people are. go with an attitude of love rather than change. God forbid we reproduce people just like us. let them see unconditional love...lets do the work we have prepared for.

mood:hopeful

it has been a crazy last month or so with job prospects and settling in to my own skin. it is amazing to me how much i need to trust God. i have gotten so far from it...immune almost to need. and well...i have to admit it. so i pray that God would make it increasingly difficult to live without Him. and even though i have even less than i started out with earlier this morning i am glad that someone is taking things away from me that do not contribute to who i am meant to be. so here''s to letting the little things remain little. it's just a mum, baseball glove, a job, and a friend. it's all small stuff if i allow it to be.

freakin idiot!

whether we believe what the media reports about the T.O. situation or not i have a problem with the way in which it was handled by dale hansen. i do not believe he should've stated that he didn't like Terrell or call Coach Parcels incompetent. it is amazing to me that a man who despises so much about the players and the way teams are run would still allow himself to take money for something he obviously opposes. and i don't believe that making 10 million a year makes someone less human. dale hansen to my knowledge was never hired to give his opionions but instead to report stats and set up highlights. so i would urge this guy to actually be a man and perhaps walk away from his position. it's amazing how many people kick others who are down. just contributing to the discussion. 

dear John

i will always remember the sign that they placed in their yard for Christmas. It had an angel on it with a very large "Merry Christmas from the Shoemakers". And they were the Shoemakers up until the phone rang tonight at 11:00.

It had been a rough 3 years for John physically. He had been through strokes, a massive heart attack and a brain tumor. and through it all his wife, my mother's best friend was the strength for us. most of the time they were more at peace with everything than we were. and so i will always think of john as an incredible husband and friend. he became a father to his nephew and niece without asking. he loved and served his church as much as he could even when he was sick. he got it right...

so i thank you John for what you have given us in lesson and in life. thank you for taking me to the beach and the mountains. thank you for all of the pictures and shirts from all over. thank you for letting me pretend that your dog was mine. thank you for supporting me and my life goals. thank you for loving your wife so much...i will remember your example forever. and we'll take care of our girl.

pappy lives!

happy birthday to the one and only pappy! it kinda freaks me out though when you come at me when you're pretending to be a dinosaur. i know it's your birthday and you should get what you want but i already got you a shirt and there's more where that came from if you quit scaring me. just something to think about...seriously though, thanks for always helping me solve my very very important problems. and you're my favorite person to have coffee with...well i have coffee and you have ice cream but whatever. love you jake...

united mindset

check out my sweet new copywriting gig at unitedmindset.com...just a few twenty-somethings that are living the dream. they are really talented guys! take chances people...God doesn't give you a dream for you NOT to do something about it...(i realize that it usually takes more than 5 months for things to work out and for that i am incredibly grateful!) sweet action!

Free Taitlin?

What's this nonsense about a Free Taitlin tee? Can someone find out if there are extras please!?!

Student Life at the Beach!

so student life at the beach was not quite what i expected...it was actually very relaxing. i enjoyed the idea of being relaxed when going in to hear voddie speak as opposed to tired, sweaty, and still hungry from "dinner". it as if all of our needs were met in order for us to listen better and that is no coincidence. it was a great time of building new relationships, repairing old ones and creating more funny stories than i can recall at once. i will leave you with one question... what is phroneo christou?

stating the obvious

its amazing that God would ever want us. yes, he created us with all of this care and love, but after sin entered the picture and Jesus all took care of it, its amazing that God would still want us. i have the most trouble accepting grace. it's like someone getting you flowers for no reason, sending a card, or a free cup of coffee. and i am by no means saying that a cup of joe is anything like being saved from hell and damnation, but if i'm having a hard time with coffee, i have a difficult time with grace. and the point is just to take it i guess, but it doesn't get any easier for me for some reason. most of the time i think that i have friends and family i don't deserve but i have them here when i send out my version of the bat signal. and God is all in their responses to me and the same things they tell me are all what's spoken to my heart.

i finally realized something about God...something i already knew really but never wanted to say outloud. just a couple of weeks ago my best friends moved away to florida. and i remember thinking to my self as i drove home after leaving them that God's love is real, beautiful, holy, and overwhelming. i realized that there was no by-chance meeting that i met them and we became friends. we were family from the start and that's how i know God is real. i know that His love is real because standing in the driveway crying my eyes out with amy, it wasn't the first time we had cried like that together. there will be many more times to laugh and throw cake in each others faces and maybe even tears, but i love her with what God gives to me to give away.

that might seem disheartening to hear from me that i finally am beginning to understand God's love, but i guess i allowed myself not to be moved by God's authenticity. and its not something i am proud of, but i have to be honest about it. when so much of life becomes a routine, it just happens even though we take preventative measures. and so i owe it to myself to experience God's love even though i will never fully understand it (Ephesians 3), i want to try to.

wow...it's taken me two weeks to write that entry and i'm back to square one...just me again, but i will be okay. thank goodness God sees wounds instead of me having to point them out all of the time. we'll get there...

Ethiopia

It's the latest adventure...Ethiopia...more details to come. Hopefully the first of many, many trips and time spent in Africa. Love God Love People.

jetlag

so i got my car back friday after two weeks of fixin’ and a month or so of being all smashed up. i do have a confession to make. i kind of liked having the car all messed up not because i had an awesome story to tell, but because it reminded me of my students. you know when you have some huge change in your life and you hang on to letters and notes for longer than you should...that was the car for me. i feel as though i’m telling secrets here, but people in ministry have a difficult time bouncing back after they leave. i am just now feeling like myself. a mentor of mine calls it jetlag and he’s right. it is a scary thing to be left alone with yourself for hours on end. that’s the place where you either decide that you either love yourself, hate yourself, or try to improve what is already there.

going through this last month or so, i am reminded of the first time i encountered this type of emotion. it was after i interned at fbcc during the summer of 2003. i didn’t know what day it was or what time it was for about two weeks after i stopped working. all of sudden i was alone and far away from the people that had become my family in just 12 weeks. i remember walking home from class at baylor and breaking down in tears because i didn’t have other people walking beside me.

and thankfully this go around has not been as traumatic, but it has been a change that makes me hurt inside. you question yourself to know if you made the right decision and you just live with it. so the moral of the entry is that jessica is at times, a little too honest. but there are many things that i cannot hide. at one time or another we will all experience this type of thing and hopefully it won’t take as long to figure out what day it is.

and maybe the transition won't seem like it will ever get easier,but we stay in the fight and we allow the Word that defines the very character of us to be our thoughts...it explains who we are now and who we hope to be as well as what God intends us to become. i am so greatful to have fellowship with the Lord since i have the Bible that everyone wrote in. i've started writing in it myself. and i won't ever be ashamed of the things that i write here because its all for the glory of the Lord.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:16-17

=

as luck would have it, i caught an interview between coldplay frontman, chris martin and joe levy, editor of rolling stone magazine. and it was encouraging to see a rock star and rock journalist being intelligent not because it was what the people wanted, but because thats who they are. and it makes me wonder about all of the other celebrities we see that give interviews because they need more exposure to prostitute themselves for the purpose of supporting other people. and it just reiderated the reason why i like coldplay. and its not that i am obsessed with their music, i just happen to have the same beliefs about life and yes, even fair trade. and i don’t believe that they are trying to promote themselves, but awareness about not being stupid or “remaining in the dark” about the world around us.

although it would be easy to remain less concerned about our fellow man. they still live and breathe the same air that i breathe. and i don’t want them to be exploited any more than i would want that for my family and friends. i guess i align myself with these causes and work for people who are concerned about the things i value most because i cannot turn a blind eye and ignore it. i could be more vague. this is it in a nut shell...we should know what it really costs to keep our lives as comfortable as they are. we should know where our food comes from, our clothing, our coffee and tea. we are all people who are born into a world with hopes of not being cheated or exploited. think about it.

and no, i’m not a hippie. = make trade fair.

I will take this opportunity to say that we are all the same. Maybe some of us are older, shorter, etc., but we are the same. There are those who dream and then there are those who attempt to be the dream. When I was about 4 years old, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor by day and a taxi cab driver by night. That didn't quite work out because I hated to play hospital and the next year I got another dream...I wanted to be a writer. And so I tried to invent new people and friends. I even had an imaginary brother who was always in trouble. And I believe that we all have it in us to accomplish these great things, not for ourselves, but for the one who gave us so many incredible talents and visions. It all goes to glorify the Lord, right? Yes. As I was praying about this decision, I spent time reading about Jesus' life and ministry to people. The thing that screamed at me through the scripture was that Jesus didn't have a "safe" life and he didn't want one. And I guess that is what I'm chasing after. The uncertainty of my next step will build more character and faith with each day and I'm glad that I've responded to the call. So where are you in this if we are all the same? What is God calling you to? What dream do you have that you are afraid of saying aloud? Are you who you want to be? How curious are you about what God has for you?

And I believe that God can do incredible things through all of you. Ministering to you has taken me to the Throne of Grace day after day. At times, I think I need all of you more than you could ever need me. But I feel that what we have built here has earthly value in addition to the eternal value. We are the Body of Christ and as I have experienced in the past, that means we are family. So maybe we won't see one another all the time, but the time we do spend together will be special. I do want you to know that any time you need anything...my phone will always be on and i always check my email. I would do anything for you guys...you know that. I look forward to hearing great things from you all in the future. God has allowed you to give me more joy than I have had at any other time in my life.

So I will only ask for one thing from you... Give your life away to other people. Minister to them when you're not at your best and tell them that God loves them exactly how they are right, this second...not when they get things together...but in the midst of the junk and the mess. God loves them. You should know that, too. And..do selfless deeds for people. Love the kids who have never experienced unconditional love in their lives. Spend your time on the things that have eternal value. Invest in people...let others invest in you. And love your Savior with the same passion he loves you with. His thoughts about you are more numerous than the grains of sand. Be His.

He loves you, I love you.
Jessica Garza
www.basicallyfamous.blogspot.com

rez 2006

here are a few pics from rez...please continue to pray for our students as they process what God wants them to be. pray that they would feel Him and hear him. and yes, mac wrestled me to the ground in the first picture...good times!

the accident

wouldn't you know that my first accident would be with a school bus carrying all of my youth kids on it...we were not even out of the parking lot yet...sheesh. fyi, rez was great!

the network

everyone has a network they operate on...some of them are more reliable than others, but they are still there. and they are not invisible, they have heartbeats and make sound. they are beautiful. i have one such network that i operate on and it seems that everyone has the same name and more than words can say, i appreciate them because they are the most trustworthy source of support. and it makes me wonder why we all go through the difficulties in life together, not because i want to question the divine mysteries that all end in love, but because i want to see every aspect of a situation. i wonder if i'm supposed to appreciate my friends, my God, this faith and the answer is yes. i'm supposed to see it all. it is always there waiting to be seen...recognized. so this network that i've been given is more than just a means of communication and information. it is like breathing to me. i can always count on the network feeling the same thing i am feeling not because they like drama, but because we are all so connected that we feel everything together. and i don't understand how that works and i want to, but i know that i won't get it until i see the face of Jesus. so my advice to you would be that you pray for a network. the kind that can withstand pressure, pain, and dance with you when you must celebrate. there is accountability there and life. the idea of a network puts to rest any narcissistic idea that we might prescribe to. be grateful for what you have and pray for the things you don't have. we should be the friends that God expects us to be. we should have the character Christ expects us to have...we shouldn't be shocked when people act like Him. love God, love people.

i love popeye

it would happen that the fish i inherited from daniel & carey would develop a horrific case of pop-eye...yes, it is indeed a real medical term.

reely cool

i have found the link to my past...and it is all on tape...i don't know why i didn't think of this before...i'm so excited!

#476

there are many reasons why i love amy j: reason #476...she loves her family the way Jesus intended her to love them. we should all be so lucky...love God, love people indeed.

safe enough to wake up

there's a song that jack johnson sings...i believe it's called, "where did all the good people go". Atleast that's what the chorus says...and i have ask myself that very question...where are all the good people? i generally don't like people to tell me about how great they are...most amazing people never have to say things like that in the first place. and so i'm not blown away by how good things are on paper. i prefer to live with people and realize it on my own and that's what you do in ministry anyways. and so i'm perplexed as to how i'm supposed to believe that things are as good as they appear to be. and all the while no one asks me where i think all the good people are...and if i was asked i wouldn't just suggest good, i would go for the best. who doesn't want the best? so i guess i'm wishing that we would trade in the best of what God has for us instead of our own good ideas. maybe being around the best would make us all better. what do i know anyways?

check out ben taylor's song, safe enough to wake up

the marathon

love is a marathon...that's the truest thing i've heard all day and yet some 17 year old up and comer is too young to know what that means, but he wrote it and it's out there. and it is disconcerting to be taking love advice from a kid who can't even vote...not that he would want to...the choices we have these days are well...nevermind. have i become so accustomed to the present that i have forgotten how to escape from it through dreams? oh to be more believing about...well...everything.

round here

when i was in high school i was addicted and somewhat obsessed with listening to a certain band...for some reason it made me breathe a little easier every time i heard it. and i don't know the reason for that...i just connected with everything that was being sung. maybe it was a make believe world that was 10 times worse than my real life and it made me see how good things were.

i can remember being on a plane to california thinking that all these songs were written just for me to hear...and maybe they were written for a person like me to identify with them. and sometimes things don't necessarily have to be labled as "christian" for them to make you think. sometimes the christian stuff does the thinking for us too much and nobody wins that way. we don't like it when our parents want us to think a certain way...why do we limit ourselves as to how God can communicate with us or how he would like to communicate with us. He doesn't waste much...He wastes nothing.

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog

Where no one notices the contrast of white on white

And in between the moon and you the angels get a better view

Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right

the procrastinator

what is procrastination? is it a big word to describe lazy people...that would actually be procrastinator...anyways. it seems that i procrastinate certain things and its probably not because i'm lazy or that i don't have time, but that i'm scared of the outcome. and i'm not supposed to be scared...i take great pains toward appearing brave...just for myself.