There's nothing you could ever do to make me love you less...what's that all about? yes, its a beautiful phrase, but most of the time i don't feel like i want to be loved by anyone, let alone God. I know that God loves me, but it's hard enough to accept that my parents love me. Lets just say that I don't have the best relationship with my dad. In 15 years of living in Dallas, he has come to visit me 4 times. He doesn't call on my birthday or send gifts. He never calls me on the phone, he always lets my stepmom do that stuff. So maybe I don't understand that unconditional love thing because I always tried to prove that I was lovable...that I was worthy of being accepted by him. Most of the time I forget about how things are because I throw myself into work or friends or my mom's family...but it still gets me every now and then. Watching the Rob Bell video this morning brought it all back...that my own father has never said that to me...there's nothing you could ever do to make me love you less. And all I could think about was how I would treat my own kids in that moment. That I would love them regardless because I know what it's like to be left alone. So I don't know how to mend all this and I'm aware that I can't heal my own heart, but I can want to be healed. I want to understand unconditional love...well, as much as I can as said in Ephesians...that I will never fully understand the love of God. I will focus on the fact that nothing can separate me from the Christ's love...and that it's okay to be loved.
That's what He's teaching me...what is He teaching you?
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