city slickers

well...we made it back from our little family camping trip...it was actually our family reunion with 200 relatives no less. yes, we have a HUGE family and we did it right this time. of course there were ants in our bed, fights with my grandparents, and hours of sweating it out in the sun watching horse shoes and vollleyball, but we survived! thank goodness its all over until next labor day weekend. i've never worked so hard and not gotten paid for it, but it was worth it as i type on my lovely apple computer in my air conditioned house. i did manage to take a few photos of the weekend. the new babies make it all worth the effort. enjoy the kids carnival!

jessica garza photography!

well after some thought, i've decided to take a chance and try my hand at this photography deal. please check out the new site and let me know what you think. i might even ask a few of you to pose for me! here's to the future! you can find jessica garza photography at http://web.mac.com/jessicagarza

puff in stuff

What a Week! It's been completely insane up at work and life at home is a little crazy as well. I'm ready for the weekend! I'm so excited that I get to see Jenn, i'm living with lisa for the next 48 hours & high school musical comes out friday...totally pysched about it. and i will have to make a brief appearance at the party for tim...not to worry because that will not get in the way of my girls weekend!

in other news, i had the pleasure of being at nate's surprise party a few weeks back and i finally worked on the pictures from the fiesta! here a few of my faves!

back to normal

getting back to work with my actual colleagues has been more fun that i ever imagined. it is an incredible feeling to know that we all have the same heart and passion for the kids that we serve on a daily basis. now, after 10 months of being on the job, i feel as though i could never do anything else. it is much different than being on staff at a church and i have finally embraced that rather than rejecting the lost. i am more aware that people live for survival sake alone and it is a welcome change from teenagers and their ipods...the needy don't disappear because we don't acknowledge them and when its all said and done i would like to be associated with this bunch of beautiful people than any other...they are my people and we are no different. i pray that this year we are able to make a difference to the community because we have a heart for this work. love god love people.

Queen for a Day!

well...the party was a great success with plenty of food left over. it was great to have family come from california and oklahoma, too. i'm just glad this only happens once every 85 years!

more more more!

life has been a bit slower the last few weeks and therefore i have been able to work on some of the photos from the trip! as you can see they are all in b&w which is my most favorite thing in regards to photography...enjoy!
my sister & me waiting for our taxi

getting a little crazy at dinner

my first endeavor with the telelphoto

my parents

This Saturday!!!

the week is finally here! my family has been preparing for my grandmother’s 85th birthday bash for quite some time. we have so many things to finalize before saturday not to mention the out-of-town guests, but i’m sure it will all come together with the help of my mother and my aunt. it will most surely be a day to remember.

my grandmother has been affectionately referred to as somewhat of a diva. and this party has brought out her true colors, but we love her and it is hilarious, although, i feel a bit sorry for my grandfather. regardless, she knows exactly what she wants and hopefully she will be surprised and pleased...in a new outfit no less.

i’m getting the great grandkiddos together today for a quick shoot for my project for the party...we’ll see how those photos turnout and whether or not the kids make it or if i have to fulfill one of my empty threats up until this point. i am very excited though because it is one of my best first big endeavors in regards to my new photography interests and i hope that the pictures are good enough to add to a portfolio. the point is that its totally worth it for Lita’s Party...so fabulous!

cruise mishaps

so the cruise was beyond fabulous and i am totally planning the next one...cruises aren't just for grandparents anymore. we (the fam) were able to snorkel in both cayman and cozumel...but the trip highlight for me was swimming with the stingrays in cayman. it was an incredible experience. AND on tuesday night there was a huge dance party for everyone on the boat...it was a mardi gras party and people got crazy...it was probably one of my top 5 nights ever! so exciting!

my sister and i roomed together but my brother was the real character on the boat. we were able to have breakfast and lunch together a couple of times and we had all the intentions in the world to order room service, but sadly we ran out of time.

i'd like to say it was all smooth sailing, but of course, being the total spaz that i am i had a few memorable incidents on and off the boat. the first came on thursday morning in grand cayman when we were standing in line for our exercusion. my dad went inside a nice little store to grab some water for the day and just about that time i turned to my stepmom to tell her i felt sick. i ran up the steps to the store (there was a giant fake pirate in the doorway and i didn't want to fall on it) to look for a bathroom, but when i got into the store i realized that i could see less and less every passing moment...i was about to pass out. i managed to yell my dad's name while trying to hold myself up at that store counter. my poor dad picked me up and forced me to drink water and when i came to i was completely soaked...not bad for having 2 hours sleep, being dehydrated, etc. i was the first girl to blackout in that store!

on friday morning i awoke from my 2 hour long power nap to wash my face and brush my teeth and i was used to the boat moving a bit, but i actually realized that we were in a port so the boat would not be moving...anyways...i stumbled into the tiny little bathroom and lost my footing and all sensibility and threw myself into the shower wall. i just laid there and laughed...my shoulder hurt for 3 days.

lastly, the last night my brother was rather rude and made the mistake of burping in my face so i grabbed the skin under his chin and held it until he apologized to me. i want to be clear that i wasn't near his throat or neck...it was fitting with our foghorn leghorn theme of the vacation. "i say, i say boy!"

as things come to me i will post but i'm just getting my sleep patterns back in the swing of things...i'm still exhausted, but super happy!

random story of the day

so after our board meeting this morning, we took a group to grab some breakfast before going home and right in the middle of the restaraunt one of our kids makes antisemtic remark and then proceeds to sing and dance to Hava Nagila...we will not be going back there again.

sooo close

well, we are 4 days and counting until the caribbean getaway with my family and i feel like i have to do so much in this short amount of time that i’m afraid it won’t all get done. work is crazy...i have a board meeting, closeouts, and testing. and on the friend front, i have a bachelorette party and then i'm flying in early to houston for a night of "girls weekend" with jenn...and maybe it doesn’t sound like much, but i’m trying to get packed for 10 days...that’s so something a girl would say. all good problems to have...

i’m just ready for the swimming with dolphins and watching my brother go down a zip-line for the first time...laying on the beach and wearing a swimsuit all day long. and i think we all need this so much right now. it will be so good for us to just be...be ourselves...be together...be a family.

and i haven’t made a cruise playlist yet or picked a catch phrase for the trip (complete nerds...just something we like to do)...and i haven’t decided on the inappropriate phrase i will dare my bro & sis to say at dinner with strangers...although i’m leaning towards “sucka”. totally old school, i know but i heard it tonight on tv and it was hella funny...just think of it...“what time is dinner, sucka?” and then respond with a “i’m rick james”. i know i would get in so much trouble for the rick james comment from my parents, but its totally worth the risk. it will all work out...only 4 days away from paradise.

fashion tip of the day: fork over the money for a good powder bronzer...i would recommend the new smashbox product...it not only gives you a tan but a glow, too...never underestimate a the power of a beautiful glow!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Momma! There are no words...love love love you! Just in case you forgot, you're the baby on the left! xoxoxo

MAYER

well...this being somewhere around the 5th or 6th time i've seen johnny mayer...it was fantastic as usual and if we had better seats we would've literally been in the VIP section! that's totally not even luck just evidence that God knows how much me and alli love john...jk. ben folds was great as well...just a great time to witness insane talent. and the weather...perfect! it was definitely the first time i focused on the music instead of sweating the entire time...i was actually freezing because we were right under the fans. and we definitely heard some wisdom from the headliner about life...he's genius...that story is best shared in person. still recovering from the experience...the greatest! i apologize for the video being shakey, but i was dancing!
john mayer

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Ocho, where you at?

so i’ve done that math and this is first time i haven’t been to camp in 13 years...yes, my life is sooo dangerous! i worked that figure while multi-tasking at work...right. well, i can’t believe that it has been such a big part of my summers although i probably should’ve been fired for some of the junk i pulled on a few of the trips. so here’s to great dance parties in the condos at padre and looking for your buses...bus #8. Do it right my friends...this is the week you dream about!

i would advise you to not set mattresses on fire, do not ever think a food fight is a good idea (you’re welcome), never get involved in a police chase in amarillo, do not steal golf carts and think there are no security cameras, never take more dramamine than you need, do not say racial slurs in the cafeteria at LA Tech, never have a dance party on a moving bus, do not break your flip flops and walk around the streets of colorado in bare feet (you’d probably fit in), never hide from the student minister, never let stroube kick anything in your room or come up with party games, NEVER sleep on the balcony of your condo and let your counselor FLIP OUT because she can’t find you (seriously...still mad about that one) and never disobey Mary...MARY!

this little entry solidifies my place in the nerd hall of fame, but i am never at a loss for stories...i know you’re jealous! here are a few unauthorized photos from the past two years!


fashion tip of the day: do not be afraid to wear converse and let your hair be wavy/curly. you might just achieve the homeless look you are going for!

juneteenth

in an effort to redeem myself and my lack of festivities for the juneteenth celebration, i decided to dedicate time to the holiday. the majority of you know that i’m writing a book...yes...still in the process two years later...enough of goals unmet. there is a chapter in the book entitled “i don’t celebrate juneteenth”...it was my favorite chapter to write out of everything. my writing workshop at the time tried to talk me out of the title and i caved for a while, but i can no longer censor that part of myself....it is a fact that i don’t celebrate juneteenth.

traumatic experience elluded to and now explained...the story begins in the summer of 1992 (cue the paula abdul “forever your girl” track) when i was living with my dad and stepmom. as in most cases, i’d gotten a fabulous swimsuit at the beginning of the summer. it was a one piece, but precious...red with purple, green, and blue flowers on it and i know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t some kmart look-alike pattern, we went to marshall fields for this baby. and it had a bright purple sash...i was in love with that sash. i happened to go swimming at the rec center indoor pool because i was so serious about the sport (i blame the olympics and my father). this particular day there was a pageant...yes, a pageant which fascinated me (think olive in little miss sunshine), but it was only for african american girls...oh the humanity. my poor dad had to explain the reason i couldn’t enter because i would absolutely postive i could take the crown! back to swimming, i swam to take my mind off of the juneteenth pageant and while i was getting dressed in the locker room afterwards, i turned around to pick up my swimsuit and it was gone...disappeared into thin air...but who would’ve taken my beautiful suit, so fabulous with the purple sash.

it wasn’t until the following day that i saw one of the girls in the pageant with her younger sister...they were going swimming...you see where this is going. the younger girl had my swimsuit on and i’m not one to speculate, but i marched right out to the pool and told my dad about the girl who had stolen my suit...thus explains the mystery of why i do not and will not celebrate juneteenth. i believe i am totally justified.

fashion tip of the day...don’t be afraid of wife beaters and i’m speaking specifically about the item of clothing i’m all about bold statements today...must be wednesday!

clarity

so i feel more like myself every day being that i've taken time to do the things i really enjoy and thankfully now i have the technology to do it. so here's to a new era of seeing the world in 3x5's...i've felt more clarity today than i have in the last 3 weeks. it feels good...about time...

seriously

so amy and i haven't lived in the same city in an entire year...insane if you ask me and yet i feel like we haven't changed. yes, circumstances, addresses, and purses change but we are still the same at the heart. and i could never put into words how much i adore her and her family. i actually don't recall the first time we met because we have always been so close and i honestly don't know if i would be the same person if it wasn't for them. she has been there to cry with me in the middle of a dark room, in the driveway, in the garage, and at church (no, i'm not always crying). but she has been there with me through every difficult decision, every good thing, everything and it is amazing to me that God allows us to have relationships like that in our lives. i am so glad that i didn't expect this unexpected gift because there is no way to explain the gift i've been given. and i'm excited for the little people that she and cj are raising because they are becoming extraordinary little people. and i would only pray to be as good a mother as she is. sometimes the unexplainable happens and you have everything you need...especially when thinking about something or someone that you've lost.

my lito

it was my the spring semester of my junior and i was going back to baylor. i had been through the difficulties of coming to terms with all the learning disabilities along with rebounding from my depression and i was ready to try it all again. i stood next to him and held his hands while he prayed over me before i left. and when he started to pray that i would make it through and graduate he began to cry. in that moment, i knew that he had become so much more than my lito...we have golfed together, ridden elephants, chased tornados, and we have done life together and done it well.

my grandfather has driven a school bus for the last 15 years. i can remember the first time he drove me on my first field trip. i sat right behind him and talked to him until we arrived at our destination. it was field day at standridge stadium and i was in the 6th grade. he could’ve left and come back when he was scheduled to pick us up, but he stayed and watched everything with me. even when i was in high school he would sign up to take the drill team to our away games so that he could be there to see me perform. and i would take my seat right behind him like always and talk to him all the way. looking back now, i was always so proud of him being there. he didn’t have to sign up for the trips or videotape the performances...he had already done so much more than my real dad. it would’ve been enough to know he was in the stands and it is still enough. he has been there for every dance recital, piano and violin concert, every birthday, moving day, graduation day and every other day i’ve needed him. he even dropped me off at dance class while he was in the midst of having a heart attack.

and as much as i have learned from lito already, i am constantly absorbing more. i understand that he makes time for his church, my grandmother, and the family although they all come second to the relationship he has with Christ. the greatest example he will ever give to us is that of a Godly man and he is that and more. i can’t believe that he has been married to my grandmother for 57 years...they actually met in a bar one night while he was in the navy...he says she was just too beautiful to let her pass him by. and they have built an amazing life together that honors God and gives us hope.

and i know that if you asked anyone in my family about my grandpa they would all have the same things to share...that he has been there. my cousin aaron and i will forever be embattled in the question of who loves my lito & lita more...it’s me! he has not only filled in for the place my real father has left in my life, he has become the greatest dad i could ever ask for. he has graciously let me change his flat tires, allowed me to scratch his car, and carried me without asking questions. my mother and i never asked him to do it for me, but he has and for that i am forever grateful and humbled by his love, time, and legacy. Happy Father’s Day Toe...i love you.

the sick day

i indeed had to take a sick day today being that i looked like i was runover by a bus...i would say a car, but i a sucker for the dramatic effect. Lindsey and I went to lunch today where she broke the news that she is expecting...so fabulous! And after running around with her at the dollar store we split and had the rest of the afternoon to myself.

While I had very ambitious list of things to accomplish, i went a little alice in wonderland for a few minutes...not really knowing what to do next and therefore, i thought of only one thing...the Apple Store. i really wanted to get the top secret spill on the iPhone which comes out June 29th...and i realize that to many of you that means absolutely nothing but to me it is one step closer to knowing the Heart of God...well...maybe not that close but close enough for me to have one...soon.

and at the urging of a very wise friend who cancelled their myspace account in a complete act of faith for the one true way...facebook...i decided that i should follow suit and get one, too. just wanted to see what all the fuss was about and it seems to be going well so far. i will say it is much easier to manage and i've talked with people i never see...pretty cool.

I would like to say the past few days have been therapeutic and beautiful, but i've felt so incredibly confused and hurt. i was not prepared for the worst case scenario. after spending some time with the girls at day camp yesterday, they reminded me that i am a cool girl with so many things to offer and not just to one person, but many people in general. and i have to say thank you for the late night and early morning calls, texts, and emails. i am finally aware of what a self-centered person i am and you love me anyways in the midst of your own lives...going to work, raising families, getting married, etc. truly, your kindness is so deeply valued and respected...there are no words only love from this bruised little heart.

just a random word of fashion advice...there was freak down pour at willowbend mall today and i had on my jelly's on...yes, jelly's...they're not just for the 80's anymore...i casually walked to the car in the rain with a confident stride being that it was all okay...my jelly's were waterproof...because sometimes its not all about the way you look!

it's been a good afternoon...let's pray it stays that way...we'll see...

sleepless in dallas

so after a sleepless night i'm still trying to stay positive, but its so difficult...i will continue to pray

the breakup & restoration

i wasn’t aware of all the new breakup songs that are on top 40 radio. i don’t listen to too many of them because for lack of creativity they are depressing and cliche. and for the sake of embarrassment i did download a few in the last week...some sort of epiphany for what was to come. indeed. love is a mystery.

there is nothing like heartache to remind you that you are alive. ALIVE...living, coping, existing, wishing, wondering, hurting...BREATHING

and it seems like i’ve heard the same song before...and it repeats except you have no ability to press pause or stop it at all...love is a mystery.

i am not anyone or anything that God doesn’t intend me to be. i love and serve God with everything i have or so i try and he gives me life, experiences, joy. i am only a girl with a vision of what perfect love resembles and yet when i try to put it into human context, i am only reminded of the need for God’s grace and man’s depravity. i have made so many incredibly stupid mistakes in my life when it comes to relationships and just when i think they are far away i am reminded. so i hope for the day that someone says that they serve God with everything they are and they appreciate me for what i do as well...i wait for that someone who says my feet are beautiful for where they have been and where they have stood for the sake of Christ. i wait for the person who pursues me and listens to every mission trip story i have and is excited about every country i want to minister to. i wait for the man who will lead me in prayer before every date and every meal...before every big event and the silly small ones. i wait for the man who will fast, pray, and grow a beard. and i pray for the man who tells me i am important. i know he prays continually and has a heart for missions, preaching, and adoption. i will be inspired by the urgency he has to share the gospel. and i know he is fabulous and beautiful wherever he is. i feel as though he is coming from africa and he is walking...love is a beautiful mystery.

so as discouraged as i was when i first began to write, i am filled with the Lord’s hope and His heart to continue to have faith. And there will now be faith in my waiting and purposeful patience. and i believe that God wouldn’t have it any other way. afterall, the most important question i was ever asked by any boy was when i gave my heart to Jesus...that is the standard.

i will continue to be consumed with God’s Glory and Kindness. if the Lord continues to wake me up at 5am every morning, i will get out of bed. i will not be afraid to become the missionary he wants me to be. and i will enjoy the time i have been given here to do His work. and God continues to protect and LOVE me because he wants to and i will not take it for granted. i will be amazed. God is my healer, redeemer, and ultimate love.

my fave

i believe the picture speaks for itself. he is much cooler than the rest of us.

ramblings

fact: we are on the brink of summer and with that comes much change and transition...hopefully smooth. i believe that this summer will define more of who i am and who i want to be more than any other time in my life. yes, a bit melodramatic however it is true. yesterday was actually the 2 the two year mark since i graduated from baylor...time disappears and remains a mystery, and i have changed.

one of my greatest (selfish) fears before graduating was that i would not have the same opportunity to be mentored or mentor students. i was so afraid of change that i couldn't see the positive experiences that were to come or ask God for them, but God gave them to me anyways. and now, in this time of transition i feel as though i know better than to let my fears outweigh God's provision in my life. i see glimpses from time to time of the selfish girl who still wants to be protected and pruned and i know that my role is different now. i can feel God calling me back to my former role again...and i must be crazy but i am so excited.

and this excitement is mixed with sadness because the team is leaving. but they are going to live the great commission...incredible. i am more encouraged by their passion and trust that it has created a stirring in me to live as Christ commanded. my unintelligible ramblings are in earnest to share where God has lead us all and He continues to move among us if we only recognize the call. don't be afraid to answer because it will be uncomfortable...there is no greater comfort than that of the Father. He is everything glorious!

what a difference 7 years makes

I had the opportunity to speak this morning in front of our middle school students and i didn't intend to share such a personal time in my life. in fact, i had never actually talked about my freshman year of college in front of more than 3 people at one time. it was the darkest, loneliest place i have ever been and for obvious reasons i try to never think about it, but it just seemed like the right thing share. and it is less of an embarrassment now because back then i begged God not to leave me in that pit...and He didn't...He is Glorious and Holy.

And I want all of us to know that our justification for doing immoral things doesn't hinge on our circumstances. Our level of despair does not give us license to hurt anyone...including ourselves. and like i said this morning, our constant and consistent communication with God will only make situation better even if it is to know and fear God when there are no results to be found. I believe that God can save anyone because he has saved me so much from the lies i have told myself over and over again. His love exposes our motives, deceitfulness, and the intentions of our hearts. Hope still remains as does love and faith.

I can only encourage you to share and give what has been given to you. Those of you who feel the absence of anything godly should tell someone...we want to know and we need to know. Do not continue on this journey alone. We are here...I am here for you. Oh Love, that you would be glorified in our sacrifices and humility.

another year

happy birthday dad! we love you and i miss you! 70 days...we can't wait!

Lito's 80th Birthday!

My grandpa's 80th Birthday was awesome! Thanks to everyone who was able to come...it meant so much to him and to us! We are blessed!

switchfoot part deux

switchfoot dallas

Add to My Profile | More Videos
this was definitely a good night!

switchfoot tonight baby!

A little more than 7 hours until show time for switchfoot...i plan to take lots of pictures! amazing...super excited...fabulous!

new site

check out the new site & tell me what you think!
http://web.mac.com/jessicagarza
if you are not a mac user, the site is best viewed on firefox!

vague idea

with all that's gone on in the last month or so, i feel new. like i was just dropped here and left to find my way out...more like alice in wonderland than anything else. and i have help, you know...the same people that i always ask except they can't tell me what to do. what happened to all the cut and dry? black and grey? good and bad? it's too vague now...we're talking about leaving...me and all my personalities. and where is it all supposed to be? where is it that i'm supposed to be? and its funny because it used to terrify to ask these questions of myself, but now i feel as though they are necessary and comforting. and i'm not scared because love doesn't stop because our addresses change. i wish i could be more vague for you. and i'm more excited than i can say. and there is more clairity here in this place not because i know what will happen, but instead because i am not afraid to welcome the change that is inevitable. it is time to stop thinking about what i'm not (i'm not a well adjusted mother of 4, carpool and diet coke) and begin embracing what i have always been...me, alone and untangled. and that's not frightening anymore. so what changed? i may never know...but i have a slight idea. i will become all of them.

Day 1

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

restoring humanity

i cannot begin to explain how proud i am of our students this Christmas season. not only were they able to raise thousands of dollars to help families in need, they were able to give more than gifts...they gave many people hope. i thank you on behalf of the families i am blessed to work with on a daily basis. you can change lives...you have already done it!

congratulations theodore!

congratulations to my best friend for getting a new job...congratulations to me for calling about insurance...congratulations to us that we're still friends. and remember to help someone today and if you need help, ask for it...there is beauty in that...

consciousness

i didn't die coming home tonight
my sister was stupid enough to say a racial slur today
there are no magic coats in the world...only those who are stupid enough to pay $200 dollars and those more stupid to buy them
school will not be closed tomorrow
we have 4 coats left
i still have hope for jim and pam
O.R. loves hot cheetos...they all do
where did all the good people go?
early release is for hustlers
i think about it all the time

new page

although it has been a while since i have written here, i feel that i have learned more about the people i know and myself than any other time. and even though i at times miss the comfortable office and the idealist attitude that i have all the answers because i work in ministry i am so grateful that God has changed my mindset. maybe designing shirts and brochures and booking bands aren't where its at...cool as it may be and as much as i would like it to change my identity and make me more "spiritual", it would never be the right focus. working in this new place as an advocate for these kids has opened my eyes to what i have been missing. i met a girl today who just wanted more to eat. i know that she would not get a hot meal for dinner...i know she won't have clean clothes to wear to school tomorrow and i know that if she set foot in a church the other girls would ask her why she looked like that. and it breaks my heart that i can't fix the entire situation. i can only help her by meeting her needs one at a time. and so while i think that at times we need to spiritually energized, i have to wonder if we are really doing the right work if we don't see what is before us. the fact is that people are going hungry within 5 miles of where we all live, children have to parent themselves, and where does it all end? i'm glad that i don't have a comfortable chair to sit in anymore...i don't even have a desk chair or a desk for that matter. go where the people are. go with an attitude of love rather than change. God forbid we reproduce people just like us. let them see unconditional love...lets do the work we have prepared for.

mood:hopeful

it has been a crazy last month or so with job prospects and settling in to my own skin. it is amazing to me how much i need to trust God. i have gotten so far from it...immune almost to need. and well...i have to admit it. so i pray that God would make it increasingly difficult to live without Him. and even though i have even less than i started out with earlier this morning i am glad that someone is taking things away from me that do not contribute to who i am meant to be. so here''s to letting the little things remain little. it's just a mum, baseball glove, a job, and a friend. it's all small stuff if i allow it to be.

freakin idiot!

whether we believe what the media reports about the T.O. situation or not i have a problem with the way in which it was handled by dale hansen. i do not believe he should've stated that he didn't like Terrell or call Coach Parcels incompetent. it is amazing to me that a man who despises so much about the players and the way teams are run would still allow himself to take money for something he obviously opposes. and i don't believe that making 10 million a year makes someone less human. dale hansen to my knowledge was never hired to give his opionions but instead to report stats and set up highlights. so i would urge this guy to actually be a man and perhaps walk away from his position. it's amazing how many people kick others who are down. just contributing to the discussion. 

dear John

i will always remember the sign that they placed in their yard for Christmas. It had an angel on it with a very large "Merry Christmas from the Shoemakers". And they were the Shoemakers up until the phone rang tonight at 11:00.

It had been a rough 3 years for John physically. He had been through strokes, a massive heart attack and a brain tumor. and through it all his wife, my mother's best friend was the strength for us. most of the time they were more at peace with everything than we were. and so i will always think of john as an incredible husband and friend. he became a father to his nephew and niece without asking. he loved and served his church as much as he could even when he was sick. he got it right...

so i thank you John for what you have given us in lesson and in life. thank you for taking me to the beach and the mountains. thank you for all of the pictures and shirts from all over. thank you for letting me pretend that your dog was mine. thank you for supporting me and my life goals. thank you for loving your wife so much...i will remember your example forever. and we'll take care of our girl.

pappy lives!

happy birthday to the one and only pappy! it kinda freaks me out though when you come at me when you're pretending to be a dinosaur. i know it's your birthday and you should get what you want but i already got you a shirt and there's more where that came from if you quit scaring me. just something to think about...seriously though, thanks for always helping me solve my very very important problems. and you're my favorite person to have coffee with...well i have coffee and you have ice cream but whatever. love you jake...

united mindset

check out my sweet new copywriting gig at unitedmindset.com...just a few twenty-somethings that are living the dream. they are really talented guys! take chances people...God doesn't give you a dream for you NOT to do something about it...(i realize that it usually takes more than 5 months for things to work out and for that i am incredibly grateful!) sweet action!

Free Taitlin?

What's this nonsense about a Free Taitlin tee? Can someone find out if there are extras please!?!

Student Life at the Beach!

so student life at the beach was not quite what i expected...it was actually very relaxing. i enjoyed the idea of being relaxed when going in to hear voddie speak as opposed to tired, sweaty, and still hungry from "dinner". it as if all of our needs were met in order for us to listen better and that is no coincidence. it was a great time of building new relationships, repairing old ones and creating more funny stories than i can recall at once. i will leave you with one question... what is phroneo christou?

stating the obvious

its amazing that God would ever want us. yes, he created us with all of this care and love, but after sin entered the picture and Jesus all took care of it, its amazing that God would still want us. i have the most trouble accepting grace. it's like someone getting you flowers for no reason, sending a card, or a free cup of coffee. and i am by no means saying that a cup of joe is anything like being saved from hell and damnation, but if i'm having a hard time with coffee, i have a difficult time with grace. and the point is just to take it i guess, but it doesn't get any easier for me for some reason. most of the time i think that i have friends and family i don't deserve but i have them here when i send out my version of the bat signal. and God is all in their responses to me and the same things they tell me are all what's spoken to my heart.

i finally realized something about God...something i already knew really but never wanted to say outloud. just a couple of weeks ago my best friends moved away to florida. and i remember thinking to my self as i drove home after leaving them that God's love is real, beautiful, holy, and overwhelming. i realized that there was no by-chance meeting that i met them and we became friends. we were family from the start and that's how i know God is real. i know that His love is real because standing in the driveway crying my eyes out with amy, it wasn't the first time we had cried like that together. there will be many more times to laugh and throw cake in each others faces and maybe even tears, but i love her with what God gives to me to give away.

that might seem disheartening to hear from me that i finally am beginning to understand God's love, but i guess i allowed myself not to be moved by God's authenticity. and its not something i am proud of, but i have to be honest about it. when so much of life becomes a routine, it just happens even though we take preventative measures. and so i owe it to myself to experience God's love even though i will never fully understand it (Ephesians 3), i want to try to.

wow...it's taken me two weeks to write that entry and i'm back to square one...just me again, but i will be okay. thank goodness God sees wounds instead of me having to point them out all of the time. we'll get there...

Ethiopia

It's the latest adventure...Ethiopia...more details to come. Hopefully the first of many, many trips and time spent in Africa. Love God Love People.

jetlag

so i got my car back friday after two weeks of fixin’ and a month or so of being all smashed up. i do have a confession to make. i kind of liked having the car all messed up not because i had an awesome story to tell, but because it reminded me of my students. you know when you have some huge change in your life and you hang on to letters and notes for longer than you should...that was the car for me. i feel as though i’m telling secrets here, but people in ministry have a difficult time bouncing back after they leave. i am just now feeling like myself. a mentor of mine calls it jetlag and he’s right. it is a scary thing to be left alone with yourself for hours on end. that’s the place where you either decide that you either love yourself, hate yourself, or try to improve what is already there.

going through this last month or so, i am reminded of the first time i encountered this type of emotion. it was after i interned at fbcc during the summer of 2003. i didn’t know what day it was or what time it was for about two weeks after i stopped working. all of sudden i was alone and far away from the people that had become my family in just 12 weeks. i remember walking home from class at baylor and breaking down in tears because i didn’t have other people walking beside me.

and thankfully this go around has not been as traumatic, but it has been a change that makes me hurt inside. you question yourself to know if you made the right decision and you just live with it. so the moral of the entry is that jessica is at times, a little too honest. but there are many things that i cannot hide. at one time or another we will all experience this type of thing and hopefully it won’t take as long to figure out what day it is.

and maybe the transition won't seem like it will ever get easier,but we stay in the fight and we allow the Word that defines the very character of us to be our thoughts...it explains who we are now and who we hope to be as well as what God intends us to become. i am so greatful to have fellowship with the Lord since i have the Bible that everyone wrote in. i've started writing in it myself. and i won't ever be ashamed of the things that i write here because its all for the glory of the Lord.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:16-17

=

as luck would have it, i caught an interview between coldplay frontman, chris martin and joe levy, editor of rolling stone magazine. and it was encouraging to see a rock star and rock journalist being intelligent not because it was what the people wanted, but because thats who they are. and it makes me wonder about all of the other celebrities we see that give interviews because they need more exposure to prostitute themselves for the purpose of supporting other people. and it just reiderated the reason why i like coldplay. and its not that i am obsessed with their music, i just happen to have the same beliefs about life and yes, even fair trade. and i don’t believe that they are trying to promote themselves, but awareness about not being stupid or “remaining in the dark” about the world around us.

although it would be easy to remain less concerned about our fellow man. they still live and breathe the same air that i breathe. and i don’t want them to be exploited any more than i would want that for my family and friends. i guess i align myself with these causes and work for people who are concerned about the things i value most because i cannot turn a blind eye and ignore it. i could be more vague. this is it in a nut shell...we should know what it really costs to keep our lives as comfortable as they are. we should know where our food comes from, our clothing, our coffee and tea. we are all people who are born into a world with hopes of not being cheated or exploited. think about it.

and no, i’m not a hippie. = make trade fair.

I will take this opportunity to say that we are all the same. Maybe some of us are older, shorter, etc., but we are the same. There are those who dream and then there are those who attempt to be the dream. When I was about 4 years old, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor by day and a taxi cab driver by night. That didn't quite work out because I hated to play hospital and the next year I got another dream...I wanted to be a writer. And so I tried to invent new people and friends. I even had an imaginary brother who was always in trouble. And I believe that we all have it in us to accomplish these great things, not for ourselves, but for the one who gave us so many incredible talents and visions. It all goes to glorify the Lord, right? Yes. As I was praying about this decision, I spent time reading about Jesus' life and ministry to people. The thing that screamed at me through the scripture was that Jesus didn't have a "safe" life and he didn't want one. And I guess that is what I'm chasing after. The uncertainty of my next step will build more character and faith with each day and I'm glad that I've responded to the call. So where are you in this if we are all the same? What is God calling you to? What dream do you have that you are afraid of saying aloud? Are you who you want to be? How curious are you about what God has for you?

And I believe that God can do incredible things through all of you. Ministering to you has taken me to the Throne of Grace day after day. At times, I think I need all of you more than you could ever need me. But I feel that what we have built here has earthly value in addition to the eternal value. We are the Body of Christ and as I have experienced in the past, that means we are family. So maybe we won't see one another all the time, but the time we do spend together will be special. I do want you to know that any time you need anything...my phone will always be on and i always check my email. I would do anything for you guys...you know that. I look forward to hearing great things from you all in the future. God has allowed you to give me more joy than I have had at any other time in my life.

So I will only ask for one thing from you... Give your life away to other people. Minister to them when you're not at your best and tell them that God loves them exactly how they are right, this second...not when they get things together...but in the midst of the junk and the mess. God loves them. You should know that, too. And..do selfless deeds for people. Love the kids who have never experienced unconditional love in their lives. Spend your time on the things that have eternal value. Invest in people...let others invest in you. And love your Savior with the same passion he loves you with. His thoughts about you are more numerous than the grains of sand. Be His.

He loves you, I love you.
Jessica Garza
www.basicallyfamous.blogspot.com

rez 2006

here are a few pics from rez...please continue to pray for our students as they process what God wants them to be. pray that they would feel Him and hear him. and yes, mac wrestled me to the ground in the first picture...good times!

the accident

wouldn't you know that my first accident would be with a school bus carrying all of my youth kids on it...we were not even out of the parking lot yet...sheesh. fyi, rez was great!

the network

everyone has a network they operate on...some of them are more reliable than others, but they are still there. and they are not invisible, they have heartbeats and make sound. they are beautiful. i have one such network that i operate on and it seems that everyone has the same name and more than words can say, i appreciate them because they are the most trustworthy source of support. and it makes me wonder why we all go through the difficulties in life together, not because i want to question the divine mysteries that all end in love, but because i want to see every aspect of a situation. i wonder if i'm supposed to appreciate my friends, my God, this faith and the answer is yes. i'm supposed to see it all. it is always there waiting to be seen...recognized. so this network that i've been given is more than just a means of communication and information. it is like breathing to me. i can always count on the network feeling the same thing i am feeling not because they like drama, but because we are all so connected that we feel everything together. and i don't understand how that works and i want to, but i know that i won't get it until i see the face of Jesus. so my advice to you would be that you pray for a network. the kind that can withstand pressure, pain, and dance with you when you must celebrate. there is accountability there and life. the idea of a network puts to rest any narcissistic idea that we might prescribe to. be grateful for what you have and pray for the things you don't have. we should be the friends that God expects us to be. we should have the character Christ expects us to have...we shouldn't be shocked when people act like Him. love God, love people.

i love popeye

it would happen that the fish i inherited from daniel & carey would develop a horrific case of pop-eye...yes, it is indeed a real medical term.

reely cool

i have found the link to my past...and it is all on tape...i don't know why i didn't think of this before...i'm so excited!

#476

there are many reasons why i love amy j: reason #476...she loves her family the way Jesus intended her to love them. we should all be so lucky...love God, love people indeed.

safe enough to wake up

there's a song that jack johnson sings...i believe it's called, "where did all the good people go". Atleast that's what the chorus says...and i have ask myself that very question...where are all the good people? i generally don't like people to tell me about how great they are...most amazing people never have to say things like that in the first place. and so i'm not blown away by how good things are on paper. i prefer to live with people and realize it on my own and that's what you do in ministry anyways. and so i'm perplexed as to how i'm supposed to believe that things are as good as they appear to be. and all the while no one asks me where i think all the good people are...and if i was asked i wouldn't just suggest good, i would go for the best. who doesn't want the best? so i guess i'm wishing that we would trade in the best of what God has for us instead of our own good ideas. maybe being around the best would make us all better. what do i know anyways?

check out ben taylor's song, safe enough to wake up