The Last 4 Days...

Our world is completely different now and the last 4 days have been a blur of emotions. We had 300 people show up to Lita's viewing on Wednesday night and it was great to see everyone. It was the most difficult day that I can recall in recent memory. The pain was so great for us and I grieved.

Thursday was intense. I picked Joshua up from the airport at 9a.m. He flew in from Florida to Houston and then to Dallas. He slept 2 hours and had his friend Jamie drive him an hour to the airport in Tallahassee. Thank you Jamie S. We made it to the cemetery early. Joshua served as a pallbearer. The service was incredible and my grandfather lead the service along with a few family friends / ministers.

We left for the church and ate lunch with time for a quick stop at starbucks. We met Joshua's parents at the church and then had yet another Memorial Service. My crazy Lita had 3 services with 3 different pastors. She was deeply admired and loved by so many people. I am grateful that Jenny and her mom were able to come in. It was a good time of celebration but a tough day none the less.

My Lito is doing well and has had more time to process. He is such a good man. This has been so difficult to watch him go through. It breaks my heart. Lito asked that I take pictures of everything. They are not edited completely so forgive the flaws.

Lita's Details

There is visitation today from 3-8pm at the Hughes Family Funeral Home on Webb Chapel and Lombardi. We will have an informal service tonight at 6p.m with words of encouragement to the family.

Thursday morning, we will have a grave site service at 10a.m. at Grove Hill Memorial Park located at 4118 Samuell Blvd, Dallas, TX 75228

Thursday afternoon we will have a Memorial Service and time of celebration at 2:00p.m. at First Mexican Baptist Church located at 10010 Betty Jane Lane, Dallas, TX 75229. Please wear your brightest colors to honor this awesome women!

Thank you all again for your outpouring of love and encouragement. God has been so gracious and near. We are thankful to have you all as support and pray that you are blessed by your ministry.

Lito is doing much better as the entire family is able to be with him and he ate very well yesterday after being up all night to spend a few precious hours with Lita. Yesterday was our worst day and we pray that God is honored and glorified in our lives.

It was very difficult to get to sleep last night even though I was exhausted and I will try to eat more today. I'm just not very hungry. We have decided that it is best to wear really bright or "flashy" colors for the memorial. We actually put Lita in a hot pink suit with some awesome accessories...guess who go to pick all that out?! It is really what she wants.

Please pray for my cousin Aaron and his beautiful wife, Kira as they make their journey from California. I worry about seeing him because I don't think I will be very composed. We used to fight over who loved our Lita more...totally me! We will be sure to mention that at her services.

And Joshua will be flying in tomorrow morning just in time to make it to the grave site. His parents are coming in as well. I really don't know how I got to be so blessed, but I have a wonderful family. I miss Josh so much, but we are keeping busy with everything. There are times that I feel very alone in this, but the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? Thank you again for the calls, emails, cards, food, and time.

PS. Jenny, thank you for your blog post. I love it and she loves it and I am so grateful to have you as my friend. Matron of Honor indeed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Lita is Free

Lita went home to meet Jesus this morning around 1a.m. Her little heart stopped breathing and Lito called Mom to see what he needed to do. She is currently with him at the hospital.
It is unbelievable.
When I arrived at the hospital yesterday, she knew who I was. She was upset that she wouldn't be at the wedding. I told her that it was selfish of us to want for another day because we had so many good days already. I say that it was okay that she wasn't there. I told her she was beautiful and that I loved her. She then said that I would be a good wife and that Joshua would take good care of me.
We are relieved that she is free.
Please pray for Lito now. He is so upset and I wish to lessen his pain. My uncle and aunt should be here this afternoon at 2:20pm. I can't begin to guess about arrangements for her. I will be coordinating a few things today on my own today.
She can't be gone.
I will keep you all posted. Please pray for me. Josh is in Panama City, Florida right now and will be home in Louisiana on Thursday. Pray for him, too. He's been battling some sickness recently. My heart is broken, but I am so happy she is free. I got to say goodbye and I told her that I loved her so much and that she was beautiful.

Lita::Monday Night

This has been a rough day. Mom called around 3:30pm to say that Lita was asking for me and the rest of my cousins at the hospital. When I arrived at her room, I broke down. Lita had deteriorated so much overnight. It is sad, but she is just a little shell of what she once was. Everyone has come in to see her and my uncle and aunt from california will be in tomorrow afternoon. We don't know how long she has, but we are doing our best to keep her comfortable. Her kidneys are weak, she is bleeding internally and continues to be in pain. They have discontinued tube feeding as she is having trouble keeping things down. She is so weak. It is the most painful sight and we pray that God's Will be done. He will be glorified. I will keep you all posted. Love ya'll.

Lita::Monday Morning

She has been taken for yet another CT scan. This one is to find the source of her pain. She has been sick this morning (vomiting) and she is also receiving another transfusion because she is bleeding. Mom has left work to be with her now and she asked that I stay behind to possibly be there this afternoon. Lito is there now. We need everything you've got. Thanks.

"If you know you're loved by the King then sing, sing, sing
If you know you're loved by the King, live for Him, live for Him"

Generations Film

My great and talented friend, Jonathan is releasing a new documentary about Pearl Harbor through the eyes of 3 generations. Please check out the great work from this film maker, author, and screenwriter!
http://www.generationsfilm.org/index.html

Lita's Progress

Lita has been in ICU for the last 14 days. She was recently put on dialysis because her kidneys were not working well enough to filter out all of the medicine she has in her body. On Saturday she was given a ct scan to check her brain function because she had been hallucinating and was not completely coherent. She made more progress yesterday afternoon as she was able to ask questions and request water. Today is a different story...she was in more pain and so the medicine they gave to relieve her made her extremely tired and she slept all afternoon.

We are taking one day at a time although it seems like its hour by hour. Mom and I are doing well. Please continue to pray for my Lito. It is impossible to communicate all the emotions he is feeling at this time. I will keep you updated and hope to have a good report for you soon.

He's a Keeper!

So I just need to brag on my handsome future hubby! He does tile work, hot wires washing machines, cooks, cleans, and replaces license plates! He reminds me when to eat and he helps me with work. He gives me music and lets me cut his hair with dull scissors. He doesn't laugh at me or throw shoes when I am being a dumb ass. He searches ebay for louis vuitton and researches hermes.No, no, no. I really don't know what I would do without him during this time with my grandmother. He is always there and not just for me but for my family even when he is 6 states away. We all love him so much and appreciate his kindness and prayers. I never knew it would be possible to love someone more everyday, but I do. He is my friend and companion, my voice of reason, and love. There are no words to properly express my thankfulness. He is brilliant, humble, constructive, intentional, and truthful. We've had a crazy couple of days with Lita's health in question and then trying to figure out where God is telling us to settle in regards to ministry and life. And God is faithful. We have a direction and purpose. The Father hasn't forgotten our new little family unit. We are so excited to get started with the work and are glad to not go it all alone. And it is all God's Providence and we are partners in this. Amazing! Yes, I know I am being very vague...more information to come in the future! Please pray for us.This is an example of the Who-Face that I like so much. I have to laugh out loud everytime I see it. He's so cute!

I've been tagged

I’ve been tagged by Jenny! The Results...
1) What was I doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was awaiting, like Jenny, to do VBS in a Bahamian Church! Super Cool! And I already knew that Jenny was getting THE Purple Blazer!

2) What are five things on my to-do list today?
*Bills
*Email Clients
*Wash
*Rest
*Go to the Hospital
*Run

3) What snacks to I enjoy?
I love granola, pop ice, snow cones, QT drinks, wheat crackers, and fruit!

4) Where are some places I’ve lived?
I've lived in stinky old Texas City, Waco for college, and Carrollton, Texas. I will be moving to Louisiana in 5 months!

5) What things would I do if I were a billionaire? I would fund medical aid, hunger organizations, and missionaries. I would also live in a completely energy efficient home with Josh and about 16 adopted babies. I would also travel, plant churches, and have Louis Vuitton handbags. We would give half of our income away because who really needs a billion dollars???

I Tag Pelf and Amy J!

Ipod Update

I don't know how a Ped Egg sound like an Ipod, but atleast we have cracked the code! And my grandpa is happy!

Lita's ICU Stay

Well Friends, I'm writing from a surprisingly comfy hospital bed in my grandmother's room at Medical City Dallas. She is doing well and getting stronger everyday. I am pleased to right this update using a fabulous wireless signal as well! Gotta Love that! It has been a slow process of recuperation after the surgery on Monday to remove her colon cancer. She had a crazy Tuesday night, too. The doctors would only describe it as a cardiac event, but they later told my mom that she went into cardiac arrest. Regardless of what it was, Lita did not suffer any more damage to her heart, but her kidneys are not doing too hot. I guess they are just trying to recover from the surgery. They have taken her off more medication today and she has been sitting in a chair for most of the afternoon. She did demand a footstool/ottoman and they were nice enough to find one for her. Lita looks pretty fantastic. I've always thought she is really beautiful and she is coming around. She is sleeping a ton, but she has not suffered any pain from the surgery.And her bed is moving now! It freaked me out the first time it happened, but its all good. And my Lito has just asked for an Ipod for his feet...we don't know, but i'm trying to google what he wants. He doesn't really know what it does. I'm getting right on that. He just suggested the F-Pod...Yeah...too funny!
Please pray that she can eat soon. All she can have is ice chips right now and that just won't do. Please pray for my granddaddy and our extended family as we take turns coming up to the hospital next week. Please pray for mom as she is out of town next week on business and for me as I fill in for her and try to take care of my granddad. We are very optimistic as a family and continue to trust that the Lord is glorified and working for the good!

Lita's Surgery

My grandmother will be having surgery tomorrow at 1:30pm. Please pray that the doctors can remove all the cancer successfully without any complications. We are also praying that the cancer has not spread to her lymph nodes. She is super strong and believes that this will all be taken care of after this week! I believe it, too. She will be in the hospital all week long and I will not be able to give updates because I will be out of town (*camp in corpus christi, tx)...no internet service...boo! God is in complete control and we ask for His Grace & Mercy. I will give you an awesome report on Friday!
*Please pray for camp this week: brent warren, the cgband, the kiddos, the staffers, and leadership. This will not just be an ordinary week.

Update on my Sis: She is doing very well and got her first paycheck (she really earned that one). I pray that she continues to have influence on her friends, but that she would draw close to her Savior and Love. She sounds wonderful and is beginning to make important life decisions. I do ask that you pray for rest for her. She is having trouble sleeping at night, but I know that God is continually calling her name and giving her strength. I am so proud of her and pray for her protection and maturity always. She is the most beautiful girl!
Lastly, I love ya'll so much! Thanks for hanging in there with me and the crazy schedules and traveling. I hope to get back to normal in the month of August! I appreciate you all so much and wouldn't want to do life without you all. Thank you.

The Jungle!

it was definitely not my intention to spend an hour rifling through my closet today. i should've been preparing for camp, even packing for it, but i just couldn't resist. this time last year i was at the height of my shop-a-holic binge and thank goodness! i found 3 designer dresses and a brand new pair of shoes hidden in the back of my closet! what a wonderful day. i have had several more important areas to give money to these days and i was so excited to find a few beautiful things in that jungle. i won't even have to repeat an outfit from last year's cruise! i have so much and i do wear it all occasionally, but its good to know i have it on reserve. i just glad that i don't need anything else! woo hoo!

its been a year since my last fashion tip of the day:
everyone should have a very tailored, little black dress --one for summer and fall. if you think audrey hepburn, you won't go wrong! classic styles never look old! go forth and dress well!

iChat

Well, it has been an insane week with recovering from last week, being sick, being with my grandma, talking with my sister and brother and being away from Josh. There is no cell phone service where he is this week and so we've been relying on facebook and emails to communicate until today! We finally got iChat to work and were able to see each other for a whole hour this afternoon. I cannot begin to tell you how awesome I feel after that little interaction. It is so difficult to be away from each other like this, but I look forward to little things to help us through. I am trying not to take our time for granted and hope that we keep up the communication via cameras for the rest of the week. We will get to be together for the next two weeks beginning this Monday! Yay! We can make it!

Manic Monday

Today I...

Woke up with no voice and no desire to go the doctor.

Went to work at 8am.

Decided to go see the Sex In the City Movie by myself in honor of Meg's Birthday. I feel like she is the ultimate city girl and I know that if we were in the same city, we would've definitely gone to see it!

Cried through the entire movie because I was so inspired to work on my writing and not give up on that.

Decided to enjoy my love of fashion.

Discovered that the $16,000 Louis Vuitton bag that Joshua found on Ebay was in Sex In the City! He has good instincts.

Wore my heavy rain boots to the doctor just in time for the down pour.

Have a sinus infection, ear infections, and antibiotics.

Had to get a cortizone shot in the hip.

Recieved a joking yet mean email from one of my good buddies...never thought that would happen.

Answered that stupid email in anger.

Ran 4 miles in 43 minutes!

Missed Joshua something awful.

Prayed for more patience than usual.

Joshua's Birthday Parties

We celebrated Joshua's 30th Birthday in Louisiana, South Carolina, and Texas this year! You only turn 30 once especially on May 30th...cool huh? And the parties were all very very fun! The first cake was a cookie monster! We also had an awesome crawfish boil thanks to Kevin! How cute is my niece? Fo Real! And she just lost another tooth. I'm missing those kiddos!


I love this picture and I bought the card about 3 years ago to give to my future fiance...it's pretty hilarious! I'm so glad I finally got to give it away!
Here we are at Myrtle Beach! This was such a great morning! And yes, Joshua broke his first birthday pinata that day. I also put up posters all over to let everyone know it was his bday! We had fun!



And Josh got super powers for his birthday...he can do headstands on cue now...

And we had cupcakes in Dallas with my fam! It was a good night with fajitas and homemade tortillas! ay! ay! ay! It was wonderful to celebrate Josh's Birthday in a big way...can't wait till next year!

Brotherly Love

I don't really know how I feel about this post being that it happened to my sister. Please pray for her and her friends. Read about it here and here.

I will post more thoughts later...

Greetings from South Carolina!

hey ya'll!
it's Jessica and Joshua...well, i'm typing and he is editing. we made it to myrtle beach with only a little bit of car sickness...so shocking! we have had a good time although i have to be honest that it is difficult to be in a van with 7 other people for two days...for one thing, i'm used to being alone and it has been an adjustment, but as with all new things it will take some time to get used to. please pray that our trip home has no sickness...please please pray that my stomach stays healthy all week, not just the car trip. in addition, please pray for josh and me as we attempt to learn more about how to be a couple at camp...i've had a few minor freakouts already. and you all know my high maintenance personality...i don't need to have a melt down here this week. he is such a good man for always being there.

Update on my Lita: we know nothing! nada! zilch! we have not heard from the doctor about ct results and we are all apprehensive but believing God to do a great work...MIRACLE.

anywho, that's what this week is about...he's playing and i'm helping lead a group of kiddos that i've never met. fun stuff! love it so much...some how i never thought this would be my life, but the Lord is Good.

Lita's CT

Well, the lasted update on Lita is simply that we are now waiting for results from a CT scan. We should know something Tuesday. I do ask that you pray for Lita's spirit. She sounds very broken and hopeless at this point and I just hate that. She still has plenty of fight left and we pray that she realizes that. It is a difficult spot to be in especially since I can't be there. Everything will end up like it should and I will not worry. Please pray for the spunky lady we all know and love.

Lita's Cancer

Lita went in for a routine colonoscopy this morning and they found that she does have colon cancer. We were not prepared for that result at all...It almost doesn't seem real, but I continue. She will need to have surgery to remove as much as possible and then perhaps treat with radiation and chemo. She will meet with an oncologist sometime soon (I assume I will be out of town) and then go from there. Mom, Lito and I have told her the doctor's findings this afternoon and it was difficult, but necessary. She was understandably upset, but we are optimistic.

Please pray for my mom in the coming weeks as she has a mom who needs care and support and for my grandpa as well. I have to think selfishly about this and just pray that she can make it to the wedding. I honestly can't think about anything else because she has wanted this so bad. We will know more once we meet with doctors and find out how much and if it has spread tomorrow and early next week. It breaks my heart that this would touch her. Please please pray for us. We love her more than we could ever express. Please pray for me as I won't get to be there if she needs me. This does not mean that this will claim her life. We just need more time. We have to get more time. I will keep you updated as it comes. Thank you all again!

Be mercifiul to us, O Gracious Father! We give you Praise and Thanks Always! Your Glory be Known!

Memorial Weekend!

OK...I'm off again for about a week and a half for Josh's 30th Birthday and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for Beach Camp. It should be a great time and I will post pictures when I can. Trust me, you'll want to see a pinata madness of 2008! Fo Real! Love ya'll! And thank you for all of the support for our engagement! Means the world!

New Stuff

Hey All! I've been MIA for half a month now but I've been working hard while traveling so check out the new stuff on my photography blog. Here is a preview! I've had alot of new influences and have been working on a new look for pictures...Let me know what you think!

Meet the Grammons!

Okay Ya'll! I really hesitate to put this on my blog because it is so precious to me, but I love you guys and know that you want to hear it!

We got back from visiting my family in Texas City on Friday night and as usual, tired Jessica, I was stressed about something stupid and quite frazzled. I think it was a combo of being tired and sitting for 5 hours straight...very hard to do for an ADD child. Saturday morning was really easy going. We got up and had some tea. I ate a banana while Josh, his mom and I chatted over breakfast. We needed to get moving for the day and as we usually do, we needed to go pray.
We sat on the edge of my bed at his parent's house.
"Marry Me," I asked. I usually asked him to marry me atleast once a day because thats the kind of girl I am.
"I will marry you," he replied. "Wait, I need to ask you if you will marry me, but I need to get down on one knee and ask."
"You're not going to ask me to marry you," I said as I pulled on him to get up off of the floor. "You're not serious."
"Be my wife, Jessica," He said. I still didn't think he was actually proposing to me.
"I will be your wife." I said it with all sincerity, but not thinking it was actual moment.
"Do you want your ring?" His voice changed completely from one of contemplative to excitement in less than a second.
"No way. You don't have my ring!" I just knew he didn't have my ring yet. I don't think I even realized that he really was asking me to marry him.

He runs back to his room. I hear shuffling and doors slamming and then he is kneeling in front of me with his left hand closed tightly around the ring. I still didn't believe that he had it in his hand. He took a minute before we started to pray. There were tears and kisses and after we said, "Amen," he slipped the ring on my finger.

I was absolutely in shock for the rest of the day. It was a very surreal experience for us, but a holy time, too. He got me good which was his main goal. I still can't believe that he puts up with me and has agreed to for the rest of our lives. I am so blessed to have him in my life and can't wait to get hitched in November. I love him more every day and am so lucky to be girl who said, "yes!"

travels

our trip to galveston was really awesome! here are a few of the places we visited while we were there! the last few photos are from our cake tasting on The Strand...let me recommend having at least 3 of these a year...cake tastings! Oh Yeah! And I'm getting to the good stuff with the proposal...calm down!

TC

I've gotten some feedback about being busy lately and that is an understatement, but it has been the best two weeks! Last week Josh and I were in Louisiana and this week we've been at my parents house in Texas City. Everything has gone very well although I am very sad to leave my bro and sis. Here are a few pics from the last couple of weeks.

tired

oooh...it's been an extremely long monday that ended about 4am and began at this morning 10am. i wish i could do something to stop this rat race, but it has been difficult lately. yesterday was fun though...i was able to take a few pictures of my friend lee and his brother...it was an interesting shoot and one that i probably won't forget. i post this picture, complete with teacher face, to show that i hate having my picture taken most of the time. this definitely changes things for those of you who think i'm photogenic!

i should be asleep!

well, for the first time in a long while i'm a little too excited to sleep. i had the best night at family dinner. for those of you who don't know about our family dinners, they are epic and super important to the friends i've grown up with! i've had the same friends for the last 12 years or so and we are more like brothers and sisters at this point. and now things are really changing with people moving out of state, going to iraq, and just growing up in general. we've all been through alot in the last few months with the first baby to have come and gone in what seems like a breath. we all need each other as much as we did when we were 16 years old and it is good to have a place to call home. today we celebrated Jeremy's new puppy, Jake! i must've held that little guy for about an hour while he slept. i absolutely adore this family that we've made and it will never leave me no matter where i am. i am so lucky to have everything i need.

i'm also super pumped about spending the next 2 weeks with joshua! that's right people--we're taking a road trip down to meet the family in good old t.c. i really can't believe it! it should be a fabulous time of family and i hope he doesn't hold their weirdness against me and i just hope they can hold it together for their guest. i hate to say that they operate on a totally different side of normal...more like panic mode...but it should go well. i just can't believe that we will get to be together for 3 weeks in may. i can't wait. so i'll basically be traveling for the next 2 weeks. yay! i love this! p.s. i've never brought a guy home to meet my dad...pray for us if the thought crosses your mind!

Last Week

Wahoo! Last week was a little insane because I did my first band trip, but it was awesome! I had so much fun and the guys were so kind. We made it to the Memphis area without any major glitches although we had a rough start. The time at Trinity was great and it was good to have a preview of camp with Larsen. I also stayed with the Kirks again! I have been so lucky to see the First Carrollton fam so much in the last couple of months. I miss them so much!

And I do have to say that it is a bit of an adjustment to see Josh play on stage although I've seen him plenty of times. I guess its just that when I think of him, I don't immediately think, Josh from the CGB, but about him as a person and not what he does for a living. He is pretty amazing and I love him.

Dallas Visit

Joshua came to visit two weeks ago and we had a wonderful time although the time was too short! I guess I like these pictures because they're normal life and I like routine. I also like the pic of Josh because it was the first time he drove my car and I made him not only drive on the Bush Turnpike, but the Tollway, too. It was a little funny and yes, I know I cut his head off.

Lito turns 81!

Well, my grandfather turned 81 years old a few days ago and to make things more interesting, we lit it up...literally! I stole the idea but we did have mini 81 candle bonfire. There was a little hesitation before we lit the thing up, but it was fun and Lito's expression was priceless. It was a great time!